Rate my story 1-10! Tell me whats good and tell me whats bad! 1-2 chapter!?

“CUT!” Jason, the director cried.





15 year old Lily Evans and her two co-stars, Lila Trace and Dan Borski, sighed.





When Lily had got the main role in the new movie, Lookout, seven months ago, she would have never have dreamed it would be this hard. If she did no more than blink at the wrong time, this was no doubt that Jason would notice and make them start over.





“Guys,” Jason said in a disappointed tone, “When people buy tickets to see my movie, they are expecting it seem real, not like a bunch of kids acting it out poorly. Start from the top, and please make it good this time.





Lily, Dan and Lila exchanged a three-way eye roll before starting the scene over….again.





“Aaaaaaand ACTION!”





“Marie, I’m sorry.” Dan acted. “Just listen to me-“





“No!” Lily screamed, forcing tears down her cheeks. “You have no idea how much you hurt me! Just- Just leave me alone.”





She waited for the end of Lila’s line, for that was her cue to walk off set, but it never came.





“Mike,” she started, pretending to tell off Dan “You are such a-“





Lila broke into a fit of giggles.





“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she apologized to Jason, trying not to laugh, “It’s just-“





Making it even worse, Lily and Dan started cracking up because of Lila’s sudden burst of giggles and the raged look on Jason’s face.





“ENOUGH!” Jason screamed over the laughter, “Everyone take 5.”





Jason looked at the three stars still laughing uncontrollably and rephrased his statement.





“Make that 10.” He sighed cradling his head in his hands.





Wiping there eyes, Lily, Dan, and Lila walk over to the food cart.





“That was so funny.” Lily giggled, grabbing a handful of skittles. “Did you see Jason’s face?”





“I know,” Lila laughed back. “He has absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever.”





“But that’s why it’s so fun to get him mad,” Dan agreed, taking a swig of Dr. Pepper, “Remember that time when we put a whoopee cushion on his director’s chair?”





Lily laughed at the memory.





“Yeah, he was so mad, his face was priceless.” Lila smiled, “Good thing he never realized it was us.”





“Just think about what he’d do if he did find out,” Lily Pondered.





The three shuddered at the thought.





“Hey,” Dan said to Lily and Lila, “Lets go somewhere after work.”





“Yeah like…Chili’s or something?” Lila suggested.





“If we survived,” Lily rolled her eyes, as Jason yelled for them to get on set.





Dan smiled.





She looked into his baby blue eyes. Every time Lily did she found a scene of two people together. The girl had curly red and bright green eyes as Lily did. Like Dan, the tall boy had jet black hair and blue eyes. This time, the girl was being given a piggyback by the boy, in a calm and serene field of flowers. The girl was laughing as she was put down by the boy. She seemed so carefree, happy and safe as the boy put his hands with hers. He tucked her hair behind her ear. There lips meet. Lily smiled.





“Uh, Lily?” Dan laughed as he waved his hands in front of her face, “Are you there?”





She was suddenly thrown out of the field of flowers and into the studio.





“Oh sorry, just thinking,” Lily’s face grew hot as she twisted her ____ ring as an excuse not to look up. How long had she been standing there with that blank, goofy grin on her face? That was what the problem about staring at Dan’s eyes. They filled her with a warm feeling as she did, but after, she ended up feeling like an idiot. But they were so tempting to look at…





“Wrong. You where doing something, but you defiantly weren’t thinking.” he said imitating her face, putting on a dumb grin, and Lila laughed.





She winced. Had she really looked that stupid?





“Shut up.” Lily said half annoyed-half amused. Dan had a way with words. As a result, things that he did or said wouldn’t have been as funny if someone else had.





“Anyway,” he said changing subjects, “Guys, meet me at my car at around 6. Don’t worry you’ll have plenty of time to do you hair, Lila,” he added.





Lily laughed, because everyone who knew Lila, knew she took forever to do her hair. For Lily, it took about 5 minutes and Lila didn’t know how she did it.





“But I don’t understand how it looks so good! You don’t do anything with it!” she always said after they got out of the dressing room after work.





“Well anyway,” Dan said, “Let’s get going, before Jason kills us.”





“One sec,” Lila said, “You go. I need to ask Lily something.”





Once Dan was out of sight, Lila said in a sing-song voice, “Looks like someone has a crush on Dan Borski!”





“I do not!” Lily lied, hoping she sound convincing, “He’s just a friend. You know that.”





“Okaaaayy” Lila said once again in her sing-song voice, obviously not believing her.





They walked over to the set, and Lily couldn’t help but to think of her conversation with Lila.











“Looks like someone has a crush on Dan Borski!”





“I do not!”











But that wasn’t the truth. Not even close.






































Dan and Lily stood by Dan’s car at exactly 6:00, waiting for Lila.





“Well, this is strange, Lila’s late!” Lily said sarcastically checking her watch, “This isn’t like her at all.”





This was a joke of course; Lila was always late, for everything.





Dan laughed. “Yeah probably working on her hair, as I predicted.”





The conversation became awkward after that. Lily, who usually had a lot to say, kept quiet.





“What if I say something, and he thinks I’m weird?” Lily thought frightfully to herself.





Half of Lily knew that that would never happen. Dan just wasn’t that kind of person. But her other half told her to be cautious. That part overpowered the other.





“Oh look, there’s Lila.” Said Lily, relieved.





“Sorry I’m late guys,” said Lila running over, “I was just-“





“Fixing your hair?” Lily finished, innocently.





Dan laughed.





“Ha. Ha. You’re funny,” Lila said opening the car door.





“I know,” Lily said getting in the front seat with Dan, “What can I say?”





Lily Turned on the radio and Me Love By: Sean Kingston filled the car with sound.





“Oh, my favorite song!” said Lila and Dan at the same time. Although, Lila sounded genuine and Dan’s words were dripping with sarcasm. Lily laughed.





Rolling down the window, Lily let the sun-kissed air hit her face and started singing.





“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh, why’d you have to go-oo away from hoooome, Me love.”





Lila joined in the next verse swaying her hands in the air. All Dan did was roll his eyes.








“Come on guys,” Dan begged, “You’re embarrassing me!”





“You? Embarrassed?” Lila snorted, “Sure!”





Lily laughed too. He never got embarrassed. One time the two girls dared him to sit on the bench at the park where a couple was sitting. Not only did he do that, but he added a “Can you scoot over? I’m squished!” Out of all the traits of Dan she admired, she probably admired his ‘Nothing can embarrass me!’ attitude the most. This was probably because that skill was something she didn’t have. Whenever someone came over and gave her a compliment, she would blush ferociously.





“Come on! Sing along!” Lily teased Dan, slapping him playfully.





“Uh, no thanks,” Dan said punching her arm lightly. Lily felt a shock go up her arm and into her heart, when his skin touched hers.





When they got to Chili’s heads turned, people whispered. As much as Lily hated it, she just smiled at them politely, mostly to hide her annoyed face. This happened all the time, and Lily had learned how to ignore it. But really, she was just a person going to dinner with some friends. Not an exhibit at the zoo.





“Table for three?” asked the waitress. They all smiled and nodded. Lily was glad she was treating them like normal people- instead of pleading for an autograph.





“Here you go,” said the waitress pointing at the table, and the three sat down.





Even though Lily had never talked to the waitress in her life, she could tell she was a nice person. A person that didn’t care about what a person was on the outside, but on the inside.





“So,” Lila started, “Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t late because I was working on my hair, I was on my cell. And you’ll never guess who called!”





“Who?” Lily and Dan said together.





“Cody Lanoka!” she squealed.





“Ohmygod! Why?” Lily squealed back.





Cody Lanoka, was one of the ‘heart-throbs’ listed in Teen-People magazine. He listed number 5, and boy, was he hot.





“Well,” she said leaning towards Dan and Lily, “He’s throwing a party on next Saturday and…. He wants us to come! From what others have heard, it’s going to be the hottest party of the year.”





The two girls squealed.





“Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Lily giggled.





“I just need the right time to say it,” Lila answered, “Plus with that hair comment, I thought you deserved it.”





Lily laughed and the waitress handed them their food.





“Where is it?” Dan asked.





“Oh, I’m not sure yet, but he said you needed at date, or you can’t come.” Lila sighed, “That will stink if I can’t find one.”





Lily sighed too. She was sort of ‘boy shy’. She barely talked to guys, let alone ask one on a date! She looked over at Dan. Anyway, the one guy she would even think of asking would say no. He wasn’t interested in her.

Rate my story 1-10! Tell me whats good and tell me whats bad! 1-2 chapter!?
Deff. a 10.





wow, i%26#039;m literally shocked by how fantastic it was.





wow.


wow.


wow.


fantastic.


fantastic.
Reply:wheres ur story???? dee dee dee
Reply:I give it a 10. Nice and to the point. To bad I didn%26#039;t get to read it.



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